Brown Bazooka

Man Attends Own Funeral, Arrives in Trash Guzzling Delorean

A Brazilian man attended his own funeral after he was wrongly identified as a man in a fatal car accident. I’m sure he stood in the back of the funeral parlor for awhile after signing the guest book, taking note of all who were in attendance and who seemed to be taking it the worst.

I’m guessing that an attention-deprived, jealous brother of the undead man,  made the identification of his undead brother in haste – only to have the plan backfire in his face as both the undead mother and brother engaged in excessive hugging after the initial shock wore off.

Back to the Future Brazil

Too Young for Social Networking? Polanski says, “Never”

A recent bit talks about whether or not social networking sites are healthy for children, basically asking, “How young is too young?” Without any kids or Roman Polanski’s phone number, it’s hard for me to tell at what age kids start getting interested in this kind of thing. I’m guessing that they’re seeing their mom’s and dad’s taking part, so it’s a monkey-see/monkey-do sort of thing.

Maybe this brings up the need for a new site called,, so these kids can start bartering what’s in their lunch boxes before they ever get to school. It’ll save them time and a lot of haggling. You make the deal the day before school – a snack-sized bag of Cheetos for half of your buddy’s bologna sandwich. These kids need to get with it before technology passes them by.

Too young for social networking?

Nice computer, stupid baby. (And, if you're posing babies with computers to take photos for iStock, then you probably hate your life.)

Well, they’re saying that scientists think social networking during early adolescence could present some mental problems in the future – they’re linking it to internet addiction in adults which is kind-of-funny because if you’re over the age of 40 and you’re addicted to the internet, it’s not because you started logging on at an early age. The internet didn’t exist when 40 year olds were kids. Well, the internet existed, but not like it does today.

I think kids getting into social networking at an early age will have the opposite effect of what the scientists are saying. I think it will cause them to get tired of social networking and the internet. If they spend their early years updating their Facebook status all day, “Smells like mac & cheese again, thanks mom!’ or, “I need a new toy!” or, “When are they going to make start making new Sponge Bobs and stop running the same episodes over and over?”

Kids are going to get tired of the internet when they’re adults. People are going to start despising the adolescence of the internet. When I was little, I spent all day playing with my hotwheels and GI Joe guys. Eventually, though, it got old and all those toys were put up in the attic.