Brown Bazooka

World’s Saddest Virgin – Howard Stern Contest Winner

Richard, the “Hairy Mole Guy” was up for the World’s Saddest Virgin contest today on Howard Stern. The other competitor’s were  Alex with cerebral palsy and a Business Admin degree and Peter, a slow, young man with Chinese heritage and karate skills learned from watching Brandon Lee movies.

And the winner is…Alex. He’s getting a trip to Vegas to some kind of porn awards or something.

Richard, "Hairy Mole Guy" from Howard Stern

Richard, "Hairy Mole Guy" from Howard Stern, loses World's Saddest Virgin contest

Woman on Howard Stern talks about threesome with Tiger Woods

A woman named “Karen” called into Howard Stern to talk about a threesome she had 9 years ago with her current boyfriend (a former NFL player) and Eldrick “Tiger” Woods. She said her boyfriend got upset and left her there with Tiger during the action because she seemed to be enjoying it too much. “Karen” won’t come out and go public because she’s too close with Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley and others. Learn more about the story here…

We’re all happy to see Eldrick “Tiger” Woods fail. Let’s face it…the guy is a dink and it has nothing to do with his affairs or girlfriends.

Oh, Tiger...look what you've done.

There’s a bad joke in there somewhere about skins play, threesomes, foursomes and playing through – but we’ll leave that to Opie and Anthony. We all know about the “Cheetah” Woods line, which “Karen” pointed out in a very unfunny way. Karen said she was drunk and didn’t remember all the details, but she did give details about Eldrick’s member. Wheat spaghetti?

Tiger Woods “Transgressions” Animated – Note the Minivan

I can’t navigate the “Daily Apple” because I can’t read Taiwanese or Chinese. Chinese looks complicated and so does Taiwanese. But, I did track this video down showing an animated Tiger Woods and the “transgressions” that took place. If you’re squeamish, look away – there is a minivan.

Chaz Bono – Oh, how you’ve changed…

There couldn’t be a shapelier pair of man breasts on the planet than the one’s below. No, it’s not Chaz Bono, it’s David Crosby. David, oh how you’ve changed, too…

David Crosby man boobs chaz bono

In a quest for a decent David Crosby picture, I found this double-take inducing eye feast.

Marijuana does cause man boobs, or, at least that’s what they told us back in school. Is that true? Check out the interesting forum discussion on about this highly-relevant topic here. Thanks again for the internet, Mr. Gore.

Medicated Pete’s Date with Dynah

You asked for it (nobody asked for it) and you got it. Here’s Medicated Pete’s excruciating date with Dynah, the girl in the wheelchair. It’s all from the Howard Stern Show.


Medicated Pete’s Miserable, Tear-Inducing Date

Poor Medicated Pete! The guy was sniffling on the Howard Stern Show this morning after Dyna, the girl in the wheelchair that Medicated Pete had said he was in love with, rejected him following their first and only date. Get the recap here…

Medicated Pete practices his technique with Reby Sky.

Medicated Pete practices his technique with Reby Sky.

The audio told the story. Or, the lack of audio told the story. It was a miserable failure and a sad audio spectacle. As Artie brought up, imagine hearing the audio from your crappiest dates.

They gave Medicated Pete a little practice with Reby Sky, but he still struggled. It’s kind of hard to talk to a girl that you’re attracted to when you’re a 34 year old virgin that’s never been on a date…and you have Tourette’s – believe me, I know. Best of luck to you Pete! You’re alright with me.

Curious about Tourette’s? Check out the National Tourette Syndrome Association…

Medicated Pete Looks Past Convicted Felon and Little Person – Picks Girl in Wheelchair, then blows date

Medicated Pete, intern on the Howard Stern Show, made his choice for true love out of three interesting ladies (here’s the story). He went with Dyna, a girl with a rare illness that has bound her to a wheelchair. He opted for her, saying that he felt like they had a “connection” because they both had “disabilities.” This was disappointing to Chris, a convicted felon who did time for embezzling $8,000 from her old boss. She thought Medicated Pete was “cute.” Lila, a good-looking little person, was a little upset about the choice saying, “I have a disability, too.”

Medicated Pete with Dyna, his choice on the Howard Stern Show

Medicated Pete with Dyna, his choice on the Howard Stern Show

Turns out, Medicated Pete blew his big date…disastrous.

Exquisite, Rare Bird Garners $250,000 – Titans Owner Gives Bird to Bills

Tennessee Titans owner, Bud Adams, was fined $250,000 for giving the bird to Buffalo Bills fans during and following the Titans victory (get the story here).

Bud Adams gives bird and gets fined $250,000

Bud Adams gives bird and gets fined $250,000

For more about the middle finger and “the bird” check out the Wikipedia entry or go to your local library.

Obama’s bow gets criticized

Obama’s getting criticized for his bow (story here). Too far, nearly 90 degrees, with a handshake. Are there rules for bowing?

Obama's bow gets criticzed.

For more fun, internet nerd-generated facts about bowing in China, by all means, click away…

Boy On 30 Year Old Milk Carton Still Missing – Milk Bad

Apparently the missing kid routine on milk cartons wasn’t too successful for Etan Platz, one of the first missing kids to find their way onto a milk carton. After 30 years, his whereabouts are still unknown and the milk has since turned to cottage cheese.

Missing milk carton kid, still missing after 30 years

If you’re interested in some great cottage cheese recipes, then here’s the book for you.

16 Cottage Cheese Recipes

16 Cottage Cheese Recipes