Brown Bazooka

Third World Soon to be Annoyed by Penis Enhancement Ads

O3B Networks has a goal to provide internet access to “the other 3 billion” people in the world. Soon enough, millions (wait, billions) will be annoyed by penis enhancement ads and fake job postings in their email inbox. And what’s going to happen with all the money scams that come out of Africa?

O3B Networks Global Internet

Can the people in these countries handle things like “Two Girls One Cup” and “One Guy One Jar?”

O3B thinks so. They’re launching a pile of satellites that will orbit the earth and transmit a wireless connection all over the world and to places where the internet doesn’t exist. Is that really what they need? In a place without paved roads or a decent clean meal, they can now check out what Lindsey Lohan is up to on TMZ and bid on baseball cards on Ebay.

Part of the Mission Statement for O3B says they’re looking to “enrich lives.” I can just imagine the millions of Facebook status updates – Chundi Unduku – is swatting flies and still hungry or Guli Putango – has a disease that hasn’t been discovered yet.

What kind of global connections do these people need to make? I think we’ve got 3 billion future University of Phoenix grads on our hands.

Shirtless on the Goldwing

“It’s pretty warm outside,” he said. “We’re going to be on the highway, right? Doing like 70mph? So, I don’t need a shirt.”

Goldwing Shirtless Biker

There are a lot of things going on in this picture – the tan, the potential for some serious loss of skin, the poor picture quality. But, I’m particularly focusing on a bug’s worst way to die. Impalement by fat guy’s sweaty chest at 70mph.

Ryan Seacrest has a Stalker?

Suddenly, your life just started looking a lot better. You find yourself reading some random blog, you get a little depressed, “What am I doing?” you ask yourself. Well, things could be a lot worse. You could be stalking Ryan Seacrest. Or, even worse than that, you could be getting into trouble for stalking Ryan Seacrest.

It’s so embarrassing that even the Army is apologizing. The 25 year old Chidi Uzomah is an Army Reserve Sergeant – Come on, he’s stalking Ryan Seacrest – he’s carrying knives around looking for him and choking bodyguards who aren’t letting him “meet” with Seacrest.

Oh Chidi Uzomah…what has happened to you?

Before True Blood, there was Bunnicula

There was something about the red eyes of that vampire bunny on the cover of Bunnicula that was hard to resist. You just couldn’t look away. And, as a child, it was hard to go to sleep at night knowing that the crisper was loaded with juice-filled vegetables living in fear of Bunnicula’s wrath.