Brown Bazooka

As if a man needed more proof that you can’t please a woman, now they’re outraged about not having mammograms (get the story here). The Preventative Health Task Force announced that women in their 40’s didn’t need the annual exam because, while the exams revealed 2 cancer cases for every 1,000 exams, there are 98 more women who receive false positives.

The announcement comes amid so many pink ribbon campaigns and the heavy push for breast cancer awareness, making for a frustrating and strange announcement. What might be more important to note is that they’re also saying the self exam isn’t a successful way for discovering cancer either. If anything, this might at least reduce some anxiety in the female population who worry about false positives.

But, no suprise to any man in the world, women are complaining. Now, they want mammograms. Well, it’s not like they’re passing a law making them illegal. It’s your right to schedule a mammogram and nobody can take that away from you.

What’s a little worrisome is the possibility (it’s more-than-likely) that insurance companies will pull back coverage for women in their forties. These mammogram announcements are going to cause the insurance companies to stop covering expenses for mammorgrams forcing concerned women in their forties to reach into their own pockets if they feel like a mammogram is a necessary exam.

The main idea of the announcement is that it’s merely a recommendation from a task force. This is not a law or decision being handed down by the government. Women in their forties aren’t being told that they can no longer have mammograms – they’re being told that they’re not recommended because the false positives and intrusive biopsies out number how many cases of cancer that are found.

Relax out there, all you mammogram-loving women – nobody is stopping you from having an excellent time! Get out there and get your mammograms and have a party. It’s too bad that people can’t take the positive out of this announcement and consider that breast cancer isn’t affecting as many women in their forties as what was once maybe thought. Soon enough you’ll be 50 years old and you can get all the mammograms you want!

If the shoe was on the other foot and men were getting a similar recommendation, then the reactions would be completely different. “You’re telling me that really don’t need to get a prostate exam every year if I’m between the ages of 40-49?” What guy wouldn’t want to hear that recommendation?

There wouldn’t be too much complaining.  Men aren’t going to show frustration over any kind of authoritative advice telling them that they should go to the doctor less often, especially for something like a prostate exam. So, men, let’s just wait for our good news to come. In the meantime there’s really nothing we can do for women. You can’t please them.

“Alright! You don’t have to go to the doctor so much anymore! Aren’t you excited?”

“What? I want to go to the doctor more often. I like going…”

“But you said you hate mammograms.”

“Well, I didn’t like them. But, now I like them. I think I need them. I want my mammograms!”